T-HOT WHEELS

 So i shamelessly decided out of desperation, by being wayy past my college deadline, that this blog that specifically covered topics related to formula 1, is no longer a blog that specifically covered topics related to formula 1 and has suddenly turned into another one of those blogs that recounts the rare instances of humour in the author’s life, and exaggerates it to an extent which would even shame William Randolph Hearst(ha! See professor, i was paying attention at class). Maybe ill try to put in a twig or two that would refer to F1 in some way, but you see the problem stems from the fact that there is literally no-one that reads this blog that is interested in f1 or even cars if lucky. Most of you may have probably stumbled your way here through curiosity or even by pity. So lemme bind your time as you clearly have tonnes.

                                        You were expecting a good post? But it was me, Dio

You see its really easy to be funny. In a conversation manner that is. You don't even need to be factual. Just blabber the whole way through and hope you exit the tunnel of conversation you created, in a cool way. What is hard is to be informative. Skimming through an exodus of Microsoft Edge tabs, juggling constantly through your word document and the web page, making sure you read it over and over and find new ways to rephrase it and sell it as you made it by yourself. Oh you mean to copy paste it? I don't mind plagiarizing, but seriously removing those hyperlinks, adjusting the font to be similar, recolouring the differently coloured texts, takes up soo much time and cobbles up your patience i might as well tailor it me-self. Or maybe I’m just retarded.

     Here's the deal mum, the school has asked to donate 120 rupees for emmm.... the blind fund yessss.

Soo cars cars cars. Huh. I find it mildly offensive when people look at me as an overgrown baby when i scrummage around the hot-wheels section, bending over with my knee length shorts, a pair size 10 sandals, clad in a batman t shirt while being over 6 feet tall(hello ladies) making rejoicing noises over my discovery of that certain little car, that mum didn't buy me all them years ago.

The nerve of some people.

What is more awkward is that quiet judgement i get from the checkout girl who scans my sole hot wheels car, in a line of 5 people with their monthly groceries. I swear the feeling of buying a pack of male contraceptives is more, lesser weirder. Or emmm, so I’ve been told.

Hey but i can’t resist those little 120 rupees shits. I remember inflation through my childhood with two pointers. One with laddu and the other with hot wheels. So when laddu was 3 rupees the first hot wheels that i bought was 69(nice). I remember buying it BECAUSE EVERY CAR THAT I BUY IS FROM MY OWN MONEY. Seriously through every stage of life I’ve been denied being bought a hot wheels as my mum and dad claims at that moment “i was too old for toys.” Although them being probably right of that fact then, now and for the foreseeable future, that didn't stop me from safeguarding my grandparents-given-money into investing in little metal chunks of cars.

Oh yea to come back to it, prices rose to 79 to 89 and finally to 99. With 99 rupees of hot wheels I finally believed that Mattel as a toy brand in India, found that perfect price to sell hot wheels at. It was perfect. A single hundred rupees note. A single hot wheels car. You may feel like I’m some Tare-Zamee-par kid but i kinda found that magical. To put it into a perspective of a normal human being, say you want chips. Almost all chips are in that perfect range of 10 to 20 rupees. Imagine if that was 13 and 24. How irritating it will be for both you as a customer to buy, say like 4 chips and use your precious brain power that you specifically left to use to argue with some douche, and use maths to think about how much will you have, and leave the shop with enormous amounts of change money.

                               Literally me going through the prices of hot-wheels

You see that's exactly what happened to me when Lord Modi decided he needs to fish more money off those damn, stupid, rich people with their dumb hot wheels collection. So with GST, the perfect price of hot wheels was broken to 120. i was livid. Maybe yea that extra bit of money they charged obviously bothered me, but what troubled me more was now on top of irritating mum for 100 rupees, and she considering buying it for me to shut me up after GRILLING ME ABOUT THAT ONE TIME SHE BOUGHT ME HOT WHEELS EONS AGO; I now have to ask her 20 rupees more when she's clearly considering chucking out this huge ass burden who is towering her in terms of height(hello ladies).

But i guess in the end we all have that one thing that we imagine makes us superior than others. Clearly mine doesn’t but i like to imagine it that way. So, if you see a bloated creature with a homeless person hairstyle, at Spencer’s arguing with the help staff, if its possible to take out that one specific hot-wheels car from a set of 5. Run. I have bitten a person at U-KG when he denied giving me that particular car.

                                                                         Me going though the hot wheels shelves at your local mall




PS: I'm actually disappointed that my certain other, hasn't yet gifted me a hot wheels when clearly ITS CHEAPER THAN A DAMN CADBURY DAIRY MILK SILK. BLYAT.  


Comments

  1. Replies
    1. lord gummy is literally a stripper name

      Delete
  2. Pft as if you could be as cool as a Komodo dragon in a hotwheels store. In your dreams u house lizard

    ReplyDelete
  3. So you're homosexual tendencies began as early as UKG i see. Good for u, u reverse pedophile

    ReplyDelete

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